- haha, oops -

I totally forgot I had a blog..oops!

I have been so busy the past few weeks, it's insane.

In the matter of a few days, I was able to find an apartment, lock it down, and move out with Chris. That was 1.5 weeks ago? Slowly, but surely, we are still moving our things out of the house, but I already feel settled in :) The Snowmageddon of 2011 that happened last week has not helped with the moving at all, though ha damn snow!

And, not surprisingly, my dad has conjured up more drama. He told me that if I didn't want to pay him rent, then to move out. So I did. But I don't think he thought I actually would, especially before Feb 1st when my rent was due, so he's pretty pissed off that he's losing out on $600/month. SHRUG. Not my problem!

I'm pretty irritated that he's being this way towards me; I'm his youngest child and his only daughter. I see how other fathers act towards their daughters, and really, it hurts me to see that. I've never had that kind of relationship with my dad and I never will. The only positive thing to come out of all of this is realizing that, for once, I don't have to put up with his bullshit. Such a bittersweet moment.

Anyways, back to more posi things!

Over the weekend, Chris and I became engaged, minus the ring :) we have very special plans of getting my ring, anyways, so I don't even care hah I'm also not making a huge deal out of it ala FB because I'm sure everyone will ask to see the ring and quite honestly, I don't feel like telling every single person about our plans. They'll find out soon enough :)

The little planning I have to do for The Big Day has been a blast! I've already gotten my dress + accessories figured out. By next week, I'll know how much time I can take off work, so everything else can be planned. The only thing I'm 'worried' about is losing the weight. I have one month to lose 10-15 lbs so I can order my dress and have it made in time + some extra time (just in case anything goes wrong). My plan is to work out every night, minimum of 30 minutes. I want to look absolutely stunning on my day and honestly, eating those extra calories and sitting on my arse all the time is not worth it!

- good grief -

Sigh. So much has freaking happened and all I wanted to do was blog about it, get it off my chest, release it .. and have had no time to do it until now.

After my dad's gf left, I thought things would go back to normal somewhat, and they only got worse. On Thursday, my dad confronted me and because I did not share all of my broccoli with him, I was to pay rent now. Over broccoli. BROCCOLI. So, between me and Chris, we'd be paying $600/month to live in the tiniest room in the house and without any privacy/freedom. And when I mean privacy, I mean that PAULINE WON'T LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE. Cheese n crackers. All we want to do when we get home from work is de-stress, watch tv, play video games, whatever. Can't do that because she stands in front of us, blocking our view of the t.v., trying to have a conversation with us. Just... stop. It's okay every once in awhile, but its every fucking day. JUST STOP.

So, we quickly decided we are moving out once and for all. It sucks because the goal to save money is down the toilet, but if it means getting out of this hell hole for good, it'll be worth it.

Now, the race is on to get an apartment, pack up our shit, and get out. Sigh.

I'm so stressed :(

- three day weekend -

It's Friday morning and all I can think about is THREE DAY WEEKEND! I am PSYCHED! Chris and I pretty much have nothing planned, besides the usual cuddles and gym sessions :) So, I am definitely going to be using my time wisely. I plan on cranking out all of my errands and tasks that 1. I've been slacking on and 2. that need to get done next week. It'll be nice not having to worry about getting shit done and just be able to enjoy my time when I get home from work :)

Now, it's just a matter of remembering/figuring out what needs to get done, so I'm not in the middle of my week and freaking out because I forgot to do something, ha.

On another note, Chris brought it to my attention that I walk like a bridge troll, and it's so freaking true! We were walking home last night and it happened to be snowing. Naturally, I waddle, and I happened to be hunched over, blocking the wind/snow from hitting my face. Put those two together, and bam! Bridge troll with a side of Egor :)

Another another note. I can't help but find it insanely cute that when I do come home from work, the first thing my mom asks is, "Dance party tonight??" meaning putting on Dance Central for Kinect and playing lol She freaking loves watching us dance and even has favorite dancers and songs. So cute! One of these days, I'm going to get her to try playing it. Maybe this weekend?? I did catch her doing some of the dances in the kitchen last night aha

- noms -

It's been a few days since I blogged, boo!

This past weekened was *awesome*! Why? Chris and I didn't have any plans and we just lounged. Granted, I had a few errands to run/tasks to do, but overall it was some pretty good times :)

Lately, I've been really tired, despite getting lots of sleep and being caffeinated. It sucks because I'm not a fan of going to bed by 9pm because I physically and mentally can't do anything. I get home by 6 or 7 and all I want to do is lay down and do nothing, when I would *prefer* to go to the gym and get miscellaneous tasks done. I'm 24 for crying out loud! I'm going to try fixing up my diet a bit and see if that changes anything. If not, I'll be heading to the doctor. I've been getting headaches/migraines almost daily, so I should get that checked out as well. Saturday, I had a horrible headache. It took seven tylenol before it finally went away, and I *hate* taking that much medicine in one day. That's not the first time it's happened, either.

But, I'd like to wait it out, though. I know the past few weeks have taken a toll on me mentally, so maybe now I'm feeling it physically.

I made an account on caloriecount.com, and for the most part, I'm able to keep track of the food I eat and the activities I do. What I love most is that it tells me what nutrients I'm low/high on, and I'm able to eat accordingly. Hm, new goal! In the next few weeks/months, I'd like to establish an 'eating plan' that I'm content with and that'll help me lose/maintain my weight, so this will never be a freaking issue again. I'm so tired of this food battle and it being a constant worry in the back of my mind. It's about time I get this figured out, once and for all!

- Really? -

So, yeah. My lovely oldest brother updated his status on FB about Maggie. Really? A lot of old emotions stirred up and I'm not too happy about it.

One of my old friends once told me to rid the people who make me miserable. C&K are two of those people and I've only 'kept them around' because they're "family". I put that word in quotation marks because they're family by blood and blood only.

I'm sick and tired of pretending like everything is alright and putting up a front, when really, things are not. I'm not one to sit back and let things like this happen. I'm in control of my happiness and they're in my way.

I'm at work, trying to calm down, but my anxiety's creeping up steadily. It's stupid how something so trivial can work me up like this, but I guess it just shows how deep these wounds/scars are.

- death -

This year is 5 days old and has already been nicknamed The Year Of Death. This morning I woke up to see a FB post about one of my former BFFs passing away. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a genuinely sweet person, and I do feel bad for saying this, but the first thought that ran through my head was 'thank God'. Maggie and I used to be the best of freaking friends until the day she stabbed me in the back. I got her a job at my dad's store, and the next thing I know, she's saying lies about me to my brother and sister-in-law. For whatever reason, they believed her over me, which caused a *huge* rift between us. Things are still not the same between C&K and I, and it's been what? Almost 4 years? Yeah, that's how bad it was. I'm not completely blaming Maggie for it, because if C&K had any bit of maturity in them, it wouldn't have gotten so bad, but she did play a huge part in everything.

You also know it's bad when it comes to my mom's reaction. I told her the news as soon as I found out, to which she said, "Good, that evil witch." She didn't say bitch, she said witch, and to some degree, I think that's even more offensive than being called a bitch.

So, here's to you Maggie. I will say I have missed the good times we shared, but when it comes down to it, you were a rotten person. I had done nothing but been the best friend you needed, wanted, and deserved, and in the end, you started unnecessary drama and stabbed me in the back. Karma's a witch, huh?

- ho hum -

Last night ended up being a blast! I went home, changed into my Betsey Johnson pajama pants (found at the thrift store for $1.50, booyah!), a Threadless shirt (also a thrifty find), and danced my little ass off with Chris for an hour or so :) I don't get how he beat me at Lady Gaga and I beat him at Soulja Boy, but it happened hahah it definitely helped me get my mind off shit for awhile .. until my dad and his gf came home and she practically invited herself to play my video games. Like, didn't even ask, just kind of said she was going to play. Really? That lady has some nerve. Thankfully my dad, who wants no part in that sort of thing, headed upstairs and she followed. So, my irritation lasted a whole ... 60 seconds. Not bad :)

I'm hoping for a good day today. I need one, badly. These past few days have been nothing but utter b.s., so I'm overdue for a day with only good news and good times.